A week ago, I went to a Columbus Day tournament with my son as referees. We took advantage of being outsiders so we got a hotel room provided by the referee committee to referee there. My son did all ARs (8 in total) and I did a mix of centers and ARs over the weekend. It was fun and I got to try out my more quiet side of reffing since two people had recently remarked how chatty I was.
In my first game as a center, I really did not talk much at all. A lot of blowing my whistle for fouls or for admin stuff (like substitutions or the like) but no talking to players unless I absolutely had to. 10 minutes into the first half, a play in the box that the red coach goes crazy for a PK. I did not give it, did not even bellow a "NO!" which is what I normally do on a play that I am not going to call a foul on. Coach continues for a few seconds and when the ball goes out of play, I position myself close to the coach and make eye contact while doing the zipper across the lips. And I get an acknowledging nod. It worked!
For the rest of the game, it went well but I noticed something. At least for me, when I talk to players more, I am always adjusting my bar of what constitutes a foul and what doesn't as the game goes on, the tempo, the score, etc. I noticed I needed to adjust less when not talking. At least in my mind, the bar was less mobile. Maybe because I expressed less of what I was going to allow vs not allow? Not sure why.
In my other games, it was less effective and I had to walk over to coaches and tell them to pipe down in another game. I really wasn't focusing on doing the silent treatment so I didn't do it as effectively. I need to make sure that until I get it down pat and it is second nature that I really concentrate to make sure I am doing that. I just find it hard because it is not who I am truthfully. We will see if it works out in the long run, but I am going to try that, focus on not talking as much to players and coaches. It does give things a more professional vibe to my matches, but then to me it seems like it is more of a "job" and less "fun". We will see what works and what doesn't after I have had more time to work this angle.
3 comments:
This is an interesting topic. In the last World Cup, there was obviously a directive to "use personality" as opposed to cards (Brazil vs Columbia anyone? 54 fouls and only 4 YCs?) I find as I get more experienced I do less talking. If the opportunity presents itself I'll talk (like awaiting a 2nd half kickoff if there's music playing usually both teams have opinions on the music) and I tailor it to the age group and level. I also find myself lowering my voice when I talk to a player one on one but using universal hand signals (e.g. the "no more" or "2 fouls so far signals) that lets EVERYONE know what I'm talking about. About the only other time I'll talk during the game is during the inevitable "hand ball, sir!" exclamation and I'll usually say "no intent" or "no nothing there." Good luck with your transition to silence. :)
It is very interesting to follow your attempt at "quieting yourself down" on the pitch. Based on your previous posts, I believe we are officials with similar experience levels. While I agree that no one is there to see us and the best match is one that no one talks about the center official afterwards, you also have to enjoy yourself out there. Your last comment that it was feeling more like work and less fun struck a chord with me. We all bring a different personality to the pitch, and as long as you are making appropriate calls, in proper position and maintaining control of the match, give yourself a little leeway and have some FUN!! Too many officials turning away from the sport because they aren't enjoying themselves and the "hassles" aren't worth it to them.
This is what so many Coaches and players don't get about us! We are always tweaking what we do to be better always trying to improve and always questioning if we are doing things right! The start of your experiment sounds interesting and the fact that you are willing to change your techniques shows dedication. Forcing ourselves to change is not easy but it shows that we are open minded and want to improve. Here's what I got from your latest post. While you are silencing your "voice" notice that you are still 'Communicating" with your body language, like the non verbal zippering of the lips that I myself have used. I notice that when you do that most of the time it puts the Coach on the spot and makes him more self aware of his nonsense or at least let's him know that it will not be tolerated. While I do talk to players it's usually to calm them down and let them know that they are crossing the line. But when I hear a loud complaint asking for a PK or handling I just ignore it since if they respond again it may distract me. Once they see me ignoring their "calls" they see it doesn't work and stop doing it.
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