Comedic Pre-game player conferences

Sorry for being out of posting activity in the last couple of weeks. Missed a post in May, and it was not that there was nothing going on, it was that there was too much. I will have to dedicate some future posts to my attempt at becoming a 6 and to a special class that I will be attending for referees. Frankly don't have too much info on it now as the State sent out an email asking people to apply but they were more than light on details. As of right now, all I know is that I have been accepted, along with 30 others and that our first meeting will be shortly.

But let me talk about an interesting thing that happened recently on the field. Depending on how you conduct your team check ins and your coin toss, it might not work out like I describe below, but it was funny the way things worked out for me.

Normally, when working with older kids, say U14 or U15 and above, and when I believe I have a group of kids that are there to have fun, I sometimes try to get a chuckle out of the team check in process or the coin toss. You have to evaluate your crowd and size them up. If it is a final, no joking, all seriousness, but if it is something less pressured, then I certainly can give it a shot.

For example, mainly with boys, at the U15-U16 range, I may add something about not retaliating when an opponent does something that is uncalled for and the referee crew doesn't see. I tell them that if someone pulls their shirt, or says something about your mother, they should not react, because, chances are, we may not see or hear what the instigator does, but there is a good chance we will see the punch or whatever else you decide to retaliate with. The phrase "or say something about your mother" always gets a chuckle or two.

With the coin toss, it is a little more seriousness. My typical monologue goes something like this, "We are here to decide who kicks off and get the game started. Captains are normally selected because they show special appreciation for the commitment required to play soccer respectfully. Also, captain tend to know who the hotheads are on the team and I ask you to calm them down before I have to." The phrasing goes something like that and allows me to give them the respect they deserve for being selected captains.

This past weekend, in a U17 girls match, in the captain's chat, one of the girls understood pothead instead of hothead. Everyone had a laugh at that. She interrupted me and asked if I wanted to know who the potheads on her team were. I told her that I wanted her to watch for hotheads and that the potheads would probably be mellow enough that they would not be complaining about calls!

From now on, I guess I am going to change the wording a little bit so no one is thinking potheads.